Yacht Rock (channel101.com)

by
12 December 2005

I was briefly in a band back in NYC called THE BAND THAT SAVED YOUR LIFE. It was actually my friends’ band, but I convinced them they needed another member because they played so infrequently—I figured that if I were actually in the band, I’d get to see them perform more often (what with practices and all).

The concept of the band was that we’d play covers of ‘70s soft rock classics by the likes of BREAD or SEALS AND CROFTS, and in-between songs, our lead vocalist Tom would improvise little monologues. He ended up often fabricating stories that—he would tell the audience—inspired the music which we were performing.

A good example would be the story of the high school football rivalry that culminated in the kidnapping of one school’s mascot, a horse with metal claws attached to it’s hooves to make it look tougher. The horse was named ‘Wildfire’. One song was introduced with a story about how PIERCE BROSNAN was rescued from a malfunctioning nougat machine. I can’t for the life of me remember what song that one was about.

Anyway, someone recently turned me on to these short Yacht Rock movies from Channel 101 that also make up stories about the great (and tragically mediocre) soft rock songs of the 70’s and early 80’s. Granted, these movies aren’t about the content of the songs but rather how they came to be written. However, they’re just as ridiculous and entertaining as Tom’s monologues.

The general arch of the drama tends to involve MICHAEL McDONALD of the DOOBIE BROTHERS trying to promote smooth music with the help or hindrance of friend/collaborator/nemesis KENNY LOGGINS and an assortment of other smooth rock luminaries. My favorite episode involves a plot by STEVE PORCARO of TOTO to get Michael McDonald to help him make a song so smooth and rocking that it’ll make actress ROSANNA ARQUETTE want to “align root chakras” with him. McDonald thinks rocking and smoothness cannot coexist, a stance which prompts Loggins, hot on the heels of his success with the smoothly rocking Caddyshack theme, to defiantly proclaim, “You’re drowning in the past Mike, and I got your life jacket right here. It’s called the 80’s and it’s gonna be around forever!”

To me the concept of Yacht Rock is not unlike Space Ghost Coast to Coast or Sealab 2021 where some detritus of pop culture is reinvented into a new form of post-ironic entertainment, a Warholian comedy of sorts. You can’t really call it satire, because everything is just so completely made up (please comment if you’ve ever heard the term ‘Yacht Rock’ before). Though based on real people, the Yacht Rock movies are still just tall-tales fabricated wholly from liner notes and lyric sheets. Whatever it is, it’s damn funny.

Filed under TV soft rock