Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself...

by Suzanne Baran
14 December 2005

Music is salvation.

At least that’s how it was for me, growing up in rural New Jersey. I was not a movie buff or fanatic, per se; it was music that really struck my emotional chords. Music freed me from controlling adults and their unreasonable expectations. Blasting the Annie soundtrack as a six-year-old, I learned to let go and dance with abandon.

I grew up with a father who played both guitar and accordion. When we’d watch Solid Gold on TV and he’d ask my siblings and me what the singers were singing about. I recall asking him once, “Dad, why do people always say ‘baby’ in songs, and sing about love?” He answered: “Love makes the world go ‘round.” It was an early lesson in the importance of mixing passion with music.

Ironically, the first album I owned was LIONEL RITCHIE’s “Dancing on the Ceiling,” given to me by a friend on my eighth birthday. My father’s love of BILLY JOEL spurred on my preoccupation with lyrics. It lead to my subsequent dabble in poetry writing at 13. I liked his early albums, with lyrics venting his sarcastic rage at subjects such as the Vietnam War, manipulative women, wrecked relationships, and poignant psychological savvy (in “The Stranger”).

But as Billy Joel blew up all over the charts, I began to lose interest in his music. My interests drifted left-of-center. I began listening to WSOU, Seton Hall’s Pirate Radio, 89.5 on my Jersey FM radio dial. The first ‘indie’ band interview was with BILLY CORGAN of the all-too legendary SMASHING PUMPKINS. His talk of personal drama and how he became a songwriter led me to purchase their debut Gish. Around the same time, I became obsessed with XTC after hearing “Dear God.”

However, I would be most influenced by two legendary songwriters. My favorite singer/songwriters, MAYNARD JAMES KEENAN of TOOL, and the late LAYNE THOMAS STALEY of ALICE IN CHAINS, who would have turned 38 in August.

Staley’s words got me through the muck and mire of single-sex Orthodox Jewish schools. As an angst-ridden teenager searching for her identity amid religious text, thought, and schooling, I found solace in his song “Dirt.” I printed the lyrics and posted them on a bulletin board in my room. They would later provide me with my senior yearbook quote.

One who doesn’t care is one who shouldn’t be
[I’ve tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me
For me]

My teachers and principal sent around a memo forbidding students from using ‘secular’ quotes. They read mine and thought it came from Ethics of the Fathers [a Mishnaic tract -ed.] because it sounded like a Jewish precept. I still cannot locate that yearbook to this day.

My blog will focus on both popular and unpopular music, but primarily the indie scene, where many talented songwriters go unnoticed. I hope to introduce you to new bands who offer the kind of personal solace that I have been fortunate to gain from my favorite music. Though my past is riddled with now-celebrated artists who I’ve since abandoned, I currently listen mostly to the musical ‘underdogs.’ I tip my proverbial pen to bands like PINBACK, MAGNA, ACID HOUSE KINGS and IDAHO. And don’t worry if you feel lost in your knowledge of music beyond Top 40 radio – there’s always hope that you can make it to the other side, like I have.

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